Shine

today a feeling too big for words
something in the spiral of bare branches
against a cold cloudy sky
or the clusters of red berries in a hedge
that parts to show a stone step
where a ginger cat sleeps and eats food
that people bring him, every day, in tinfoil
and owned by no one he grows fat

a film about an insane pianist
blue sky for him too, and music big enough
for feeling but no room for rest
everything gone out of him but him
and walking out of the cinema I was clean
washed bare for the touch of sunlight
naked baby ready to be made into memory

in the morning it rained and the paths were dark
then it was sunny and they steamed
and pigeons waddled over the cobblestones
and when I stopped trying to talk
there was room in the silence for feelings -
the taste of stale bread and ham, lukewarm tea
dripping over my fingers to the ground
I don't want there to be an end or not to be an end

nothing but this